So my daughter who is 18 gets upset last night crying how hard and sad it is for her since me and her father got divorced. It's hard because we are still fighting about child support, custody, etc. and he hates me.  I have had to move a few times in the past few years because my ex pays me a month or two late sometimes and I pay the rent late due to this. No landlord wants that and it forces me to have to move, she is tired of moving, and stresses her because of this. Oh yeah, did I mention I pay him child support, yep! How?  When I did not  work the 12 years I stayed home to raise our children.  Even though from the start the children spent more days with me than what was agreed to in court to calculate child support.  The child support I pay him should have been dropped immediately due to them spending more days with me, but every time I went to court to ask for this, along with more parenting time and/or joint custody the judge denied it. I have been back to court to have the child support dropped due to my accident and not being able to work, but the judge denied it again!! Unfortunately I have represented myself the past few times because I can not afford an attorney, which definitely does not help.
So, back to my daughter. It is so very sad to see your child upset, it totally breaks your heart.  To cry to you feeling so sad, that our divorce and the issues we have hurt the children so.  My ex wanted the children to go back and forth during the school week one day with me, the other day with him, and like I said they couldn't even sleep at my home weeknights for a few years.  She was upset about this and said how hard it was to go back and forth.  The sad thing, all the therapists and parent coordinators ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN,  not one explaining how awful and hard it was for THE CHILDREN and no one tried to change it.  Judith Grief, Morton Friedman were the two therapists who evaluated us from the start.  I want to write them all letters telling them how my children turned out, how sad and hurt they are due to this, except for my son, he doesn't seem so affected yet.  My ex still hates me, seven years later he can't get over it even though he remarried someone 27 years younger, yep, I did say 27 years!! I know it's crazy, but you think it would have helped him to stop fighting with me, hating me, and stop fighting me in court? No, seems like not, it all ends up to be money for so many people, he doesn't want to give up the $1,000 I have to pay him a month for support. AND THE JUDGES ALLOW HIM TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!! The Judges did not care how much my children cried to be with me, how much they cried when he came to pick them up at night to sleep at his house, if he loved his children enough how could he have taken them away from me at night and drag them to his home? And one night there was a major problem, 911 was called by one of my children, we went to court with Judge Torak, and he still allowed my ex to have custody of them, still not even allowing me joint custody!! What is wrong with human beings, do they not have any love and compassion for others, especially for our children, children that only wanted to be with their mother more.  And what is wrong with our Judges that only make decisions on who they know, and have so much power and control but aren't even human enough to do the right thing for young children who miss their mom?? And I was a loving, caring, responsible mother who has taken them to every doctor, dentist, orthodontist and eye doctor appointment they ever had, even when he had full residential custody. The bottom line is our families, yours, mine, everyones family and children, their safety and emotional well being. To create happy children, to create a happier place, a happier world with children that contribute to society in a loving, responsible and compassionate way. Compassion, a major word, to these judges, attorney's, even therapists that are suppose to do whats best for the children.  Are they missing compassion and love in their own life?  Are they just heartless, shallow, controlled by doing favors for people they know, or whatever,  not even having enough strength and courage to do whats right to our innocent children? God bless our children, God bless our system that is so unfair, selfish and corrupt!!