Hey, well the holidays come and went, happy new year to all!!! So much goes on, guess I should say it all, but sometimes thats really hard to do, put it all out there.  So, to be safe, I'll just say, my kids have had a rough time into the New Year.  Some arguing going into the New Year, they must have alot of pain in their hearts over the domestic violence they have seen, and need to work it out. I am currently looking into family therapy, they have each done individual a few years ago.  But, they still have pain, and behaviors due to growing up with a domestic violent father, and we need to work all of this out.  My one daughter is very angry at me, feels I choose her sister over her now, and can not let go of past hurts.  My oldest daughter has chosen to live with her father, and it has broken my heart.  She is definitely brainwashed by him, but there is nothing I can do but pray for her.  She doesnt believe anything I tell her about the past, he lies about things that happened, and she believes him.  She tolerates his abuse when he is angry, and feels sorry for him.  She is such a victim, he is so controlling, and a terrible influence on her, and she doesnt even know it.  
I am so tired of the fighting, the negative out there from him, constantly.  He is still always bad mouthing me to the children, cant let go that I didnt want him anymore due to his abuse. He has remarried, you think he would have let go of the anger and moved on? No, he is a really sick, unhealthy man, and I have prayed for years for his healing, and am still waiting.
I pray for my children, they really needed to go away to college to get away from his abuse, but he told them they could not.  Things are so unfair, you feel if you have a good heart, and are kind, giving, and loving, things will be ok. But, it doesnt seem to work this way.  They say all things happen for a reason and makes us stronger, but I surely get sick of hearing this. Especially when you and your children are still suffering, crying, angry, and hurt constantly, due to their parents abuse!!